At Long Last

I feel like it's been ages since I last posted a note. Actually it has been. It's been a tough few months. Morning sickness and fatigue was and continues to be the ever present prevailing experience of my first and now second trimester. I continue to hold on to this ending soon. The good news is the only part of this experience that has been challenging has been the physical part. I feel great, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Despite the massive amounts of hormones swirling through my body, I haven't been experiencing any of the emotional roller coaster usually associated with pregnancy. No if only I could sneeze without holding my crotch so I don't tinkle a little. Speaking of sneezing, I caught a cold on Sunday, it's a pretty bad one too. Headache, chest congestion, sore throat, coughing. Yuck! I am supposed to go in for a procedure that checks for any defects or problems with the babies tomorrow (Amniocentesis), but I'm not sure it's such a good idea. Unfortunately with my health plan (Kaiser) it can be pretty difficult to get a hold of the doctor to find out if I should reschedule my appointment. I also have another appointment with my OB/Gyn on Thursday so I should have a more up to date picture of the babies. I have put one up from a few weeks ago of one of the babies. The other one seemed to be a little camera shy and we couldn't get a very good picture. I should be able to tell the sex of the babies very soon. I am also posting a picture of my big belly. Which I think looks huge for 15 weeks, but who knows.

I want to apologize for not staying in touch and not keeping everyone in the loop. After all, you are family. I just kept saying to myself, "as soon as I feel better, I will start reaching out." I know I am doing the best I can, but I miss you guys! Several people have been reaching out to me and although at times it takes me a while to get back to them I truly appreciate it. It makes me feel thought of and loved.

Although I know pretty soon I am going to need a lot of help, I have been thinking about what that really means. As I mentioned in my 2nd year project, what I really want for myself and my children is a community. I want all the diversity and experiences that comes from such a wonderful group of people that we are. For me it's less about asking for help and more about wanting to have my kids learn about and be exposed to things I couldn't possible know about myself. So as much as you would like to be involved, I would like to have you. On a practical note, as for help, I will start getting clearer at to what I need as time goes on. I am also excited to hear how people would like to be involved. I'm talking about everything: pre, birth and post. My mom has been fantastic too and a huge support for me. Despite being a very strong minded mother, she has exhibited a great deal of restraint and has been focusing on what I want not what she thinks I need. Wow. Big break through.

I feel like I have so much more to say, but I think I have expended my quota of energy for the day. Damn and I still have to go to work tonight. Sigh. I guess this is just practice. I promise I will write more often. I know most of you are not able to get notification of my blog posting directly, so I will send out an email letting you know when I post something. If you don't want this notification, please let me know and I will take you off the list. Or if you are not on my list and have stumbled on this blog accidentally or through someone else I can add you.

Love, love, love,
Kathryn